Most children go through some sort of anxiety at some point in their lives. And as their mother, we do our best to comfort and support them when it happens.
This blog post is quite hard for me to write. Harriet’s always suffered with anxiety and no self confidence and it absolutely breaks my heart.
From when she was small she was always quite attached to me and her dad. We couldn’t leave her with anyone, she would scream the whole time we was gone. If we went to anyone’s house, as soon as she couldn’t see us she would scream. I know most children go through separation anxiety, but this was on such a high scale. Even people she seen all the time, there was no way she would stay with them, not even for a few hours.
As she started getting older, around 2, the night terrors started. Waking in the middle of the night, in such a state. Screaming and screaming and there was nothing we could do to help. I’d sit there with her comforting her until it passed. It was scary for me to watch so I hate to think how she felt while it was happening.
Harriet started nursery when she was 2, and I thought it would help her so much. I know most children cry for the first few weeks. They’re in a strange place with people the don’t really know. It took nearly 3 months for Harriet to settle. Even then, if her favourite nursery teacher wasn’t in the room when we got there to drop her off, she would scream!
Transitioning to school was hard. Because Harriet went to a private nursery, when she went to school she didn’t know anyone. It didn’t take her as long to settle, but she really struggled the first few weeks. Watching her cry and cling to me because she wasn’t comfortable and didn’t know anyone really hurt me. It’s so hard for the teachers, they have 30 students and only one pair of hands. A few of the children cried everyday, and they unfortunately can’t comfort all of them. But I think that’s what got to me the most, knowing she was going into school crying and probably wouldn’t be being comforted.
Harriet’s now 7. Her anxiety isn’t no way near as bad as what it has been. She’s fine at school now. She will go and stay at my mums house, she sometimes gets a bit teary but she’s fine once she’s there. But now I’m noticing she has no confidence.
When your 7 year old is coming to you and saying, ‘i hate my face, I’m so ugly.’ How do you deal with that? No matter how many times myself, and our family, tell her she’s beautiful, she doesn’t listen. A 7 year old shouldn’t even be thinking about things like that. It’s heartbreaking.
I’ve noticed she doesn’t like big crowds, and if all of her friends are playing a game, she doesn’t dare ask to join in.
I hope that she knows we love her, I always do my best for her. It’s hard to talk to her as she doesn’t want to talk. She doesn’t express her feelings.
If anyone has been through anything similar, is there any advice you could give me? How do I make her more confident?
Thank you all for reading, I hope you all have a fantastic Sunday.